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Friday, January 19, 2007

The Killer Whales are Invading!!!!!

Crack Reporting by Bob Weber, great headline by the Globe and Mail.

Killer whales invading Arctic

Canadian Press

New research suggests melting Arctic sea ice is drawing more killer whales into northern oceans, raising concerns among Inuit hunters about increasing competition for food.

Federal researcher Jeff Higdon has compiled a database of the number of times the sleek black-and-white predators have been spotted in the waters north of Newfoundland since the 1980s.

"There's been a massive increase," he said yesterday.

Two decades ago, hunters, scientists and other northern travellers usually reported about six killer whales a year in the waters of western Hudson Bay, he said. By 2000, the number of sightings in that one area had ballooned to more than 30 annually.

Dispatches from Tuktoyaktuk, North West Territories, Canada:

A Swift Advance:

At dawn on Friday, January 19, 2007, (a day that will live forever in infamy) the Orca war machine rolled into the quiet peaceful Baffin Sea, Beaufort Sea, and Hudson’s Bay. Unconfirmed reports by local Inuit peoples indicate complete control has been ceded to the Whales.

Tactics of the Pod:

The strategy for war was simple, swim really fast and bite what goes in the mouth. It seems to have worked as the Orca have already taken the coastal areas of the world.

International Observers and experts on Borealis-Orcinus relations unanimously agree that the Orca war machine is will soon overwhelm the arctic, and by 2050 land.

The attack was accomplished – A sweeping drive through the Berring Strait -

by months of careful planning and preparations, unity of command attributed to advanced bio-sonar technology, and the broad military vision of Fin.

Fin of the Georgia Strait:

Fin was born on the Fourth of June, 2001, but don’t let his age fool you. As his name suggests he resides somewhere in the Georgia Strait, and it is from there that he makes his plans for world conquest.

Fin has close relations with labour. His close and open relationship with Union Kingpin Trevor Linden raised some eyebrow during the recent NHL Lockout, as he is an employee of the Vancouver Canucks.

Most Orca do not have the ability to walk or live on land. Somehow Fin acquired these skills and is using them to prepare for the final battle, Whales Vs. Humans. Although friendly to human adults, Fin seems to dislike the human child. In the picture below it appears as if he’s shaking (to death?) a small child.

More on whales later…